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Public Speaking Information |
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The Porch Light* Method to Speaking Confidence
You know the feeling. Looking out at a sea of faces, you notice a few scowls, frowns, even droopy eyelids on some of your audience members. What are they thinking? Do they disagree with your points? Are they in a bad mood? Do they just not like YOU? You bend over backwards to win them over. You smile, establish eye contact. But the longer you speak the more hopeless you feel as you see your desperate attempts to please fall flat. At the end, feeling discouraged and anxious, you limp away. It doesn't have to be that way. By using a simple image--the porch light--you can give the same talk with such enthusiasm that scowls won't bother you. In fact, you may even be able to turn those frowns upside down! Remember going trick-or-treating as a child? You would carefully examine all the houses to determine which ones would yield the good "loot." Most likely, the brightly lit porches with elaborate Halloween decorations would have friendly, generous, confection-laden people behind the door. Also, you most likely skipped the houses with dark, unswept porches for their lack of promise. Imagine the faces of your audience members as porch lights. Some will be brightly "lit" with smiles and encouraging looks; others may appear uninviting. The trick is to speak into the spirit of the bright porch lights. Let in support from those who are encouraging you. Speak into the generosity of those porches that are lit, rather than into the perceived criticism of the uninviting ones. Does that mean you ignore the unlit porches? No. Instead of speaking from a panicky need to win them over, addresss the frowning faces with the same energy that you project toward the friendly faces. Easier said than done? Perhaps, but you can make it easier if you remember the following: 1. Negative expressions probably have nothing to do with you. People frown when they have a stomachache; they scowl when they're reliving a fight with their spouses; they drop off when they spent the night rocking a sick baby. Nine times out of ten, they had turned off their porch lights long before you walked in the room. 2. Usually far more porch lights are ON than off. Most people in your audience want you to succeed. But you can get so focused on forcing the negative ones to like you that you don't let in the support of those who already do! It's a shame when warm, supportive energy goes unused. Besides, if you speak appreciatively into the positive energy of the "on" porch lights, the "off" porch lights see the magic that's happening between you and your supporters. That's often all it takes to turn on lights all over the room. 3. Just because a person's porch light is off, it doesn't mean nobody's home. The person might just be concerned, anxious, or distracted. With a little more information or reassurance, that listener's porch light might come on more brightly than all the others. The next time you speak, remember the wisdom of your trick-or-treating days: Don't spend a lot of time on dark, uninviting porches. Instead, enjoy the warm light of the inviting ones. That's where you'll find the best treats. And, who knows? The grumpy neighbors peeking out from their dark windows may see your joy and decide to turn on their porch lights after all. * Based on an image mentioned in SPEAKING CIRCLES(R) Facilitator Training. The SPEAKING CIRCLE(R) method is a revolutionary new approach to increasing speaking confidence and charisma. To learn more, visit www.speakingcircles.com. About The Author Melissa Lewis turns traditional thinking about public speaking upside down to give people more comfort, confidence, and charisma in front of groups. She is a certified facilitator of SPEAKING CIRCLES(R), president-elect of the National Speakers Association Kansas City Chapter, and author of the soon-to-be-released book, Upside Down Speaking. For more information, call (913) 341-1241 or visit www.upsidedownspeaking.com. Melissa@upsidedownspeaking.com
MORE RESOURCES: Local View: Toastmasters about more than improving public speaking Duluth News Tribune The Top Ten Public Speaking Coaches GlobeNewswire Aristotle was a key figure in public speaking—he said the most persuasive people do these 3 things CNBC Stop Scripting Your Speeches Harvard Business Review Sharpen Public Speaking Skills with Coral Springs Chamber's New Toastmasters International Club - Coral Coral Springs Talk Toastmasters’ tips to no-fear public speaking: Here’s how to ask for a raise or a new job OregonLive Coventry council to consider amending public speaking rules Journal Inquirer Kids Gazette: Be inspired to speak out on MLK Day. Stacey Walker shares 6 tips on public speaking The Gazette: Eastern Iowa Breaking News and Headlines Club activities at Meyers High School are still going strong Wilkes-Barre Citizens Voice Regionally Speaking, Wednesday, January 27, 2021 Lakeshore Public Radio A public speaking competition at the University of Ottawa Inspired Traveler New Mexico governor delivers State of State speech, says schools can reopen to students on Feb. 8 KVIA El Paso CU Boulder strips John Eastman of public duties following professor’s speech at Trump rally that preceded Capitol riot The Denver Post The Upside of Your Public Speaking Jitters Harvard Business Review Footage of Trump speaking to US troops in 2017 circulated in false posts days before President Biden's inauguration AFP Factcheck Bad at public speaking? The trick is to distill your message to these 15 words, says speech trainer CNBC Republicans slam Biden's pick for UN ambassador for speaking at Confucius Institute at HBCU USA TODAY Biden makes tackling climate crisis ‘essential’ to US policy Al Jazeera English 5 activities you can do at home to help you become a stronger public speaker - Business Insider Business Insider 4 Ways to Bulletproof Your Public-Speaking Business Entrepreneur Why You Fear Public Speaking and How to Overcome It Entrepreneur Buckeye Institute asks court to look at Thompson case Marietta Times The Value of Public Speaking | Greenwich Sentinel Greenwich Sentinel 4-H public speaking contest teaches life skills Read more Jefferson City News Tribune Editorial: Gavel Club lets young people enhance public speaking skills Kingsport Times News Master the Art of Public Speaking With This $40 Online Course Black Enterprise Conquer Your Fear of Public Speaking Using Visualization Techniques The Great Courses Daily News 8 Tips to Improve Your Public Speaking Atlanta Small Business Network JFK Got A ‘C’ In Public Speaking. A New Book Traces His Transformation Into A Captivating Leader Forbes Patients with public speaking anxiety show improvement after VR exposure therapy, study finds PsyPost Mastering the Art of Public Speaking: The Importance of Public Speaking South Florida Caribbean News Stevenson seniors create public speaking based initiative Chicago Daily Herald Anxious about public speaking? Your smart speaker could help | Penn State University Penn State News Public speaking solutions with a graduate in the Forbes 30 under 30 list Study International News Do You Need Charisma to Be a Great Public Speaker? Harvard Business Review Public speaking for technical pros: How to deliver a great in-person or virtual presentation TechRepublic 5 Best Public Speaking Coaches in the US🥇 Kev's Best Public Speaking in a Virtual Environment | NewsCenter | SDSU SDSU Newscenter Likability goes a long way in public speaking yoursun.com Ways to improve your public speaking skills The New Times Try This Weird Trick to Improve Your Public Speaking Entrepreneur 4 Best Public Speaking Coaches 🥇 Kev's Best 20 Bad Public Speaking Habits a Mindful Presenter Avoids Business 2 Community How to overcome your fear of public speaking British GQ How to Speak in Public - A Year of Living Better Guides New York Times How to improve your public speaking skills – Times Square Chronicles Times Square Chronicles Pullman residents practice public speaking – The Daily Evergreen The Daily Evergreen Cheers to Austin's own Toastmasters World Champion of Public Speaking! KEYE TV CBS Austin Danville: Toastmasters to host open house with public-speaking world champ danvillesanramon.com An international program teaching students how to become leaders using public speaking and rhetoric ABC10.com KXTV Austin Financial Analyst Wins Toastmasters' 2020 World Championship of Public Speaking® - PRNewswire How I conquered my fear of public speaking and learned to give effective presentations Science Magazine If public speaking terrifies you, you're not alone — but there's plenty you can do about it ABC News Anxious about speaking in online classes and meetings? Here are 7 tips to make it easier The Conversation AU Eight Basic Public Speaking Tips Entrepreneur |
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